Letter of Agreement

What to do when packing the dreaded school lunch threatens to pull apart your marriage? Draw up a contract.

Related: The Blame Game

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Inspired! Tabitha is claiming to be very responsible ito healthy food choices, and so is allowed school lunches most days, but Jake, now that’s another matter. I’ll need to print this out too!


As a second year law student and avid food blog follower/foodie, I already loved your blog. This sent it over the top. I was rolling on the floor. My partner and I already have a running joke about what’s in “The Contract.” I sent this to him as evidence that I am not the only one. Keep writing!


This is the best “love letter” I’ve read in a long time. If you have this much fun negotiating lunch, I’ll bet your home is full of love and laughter!


I am absolutey dying right now!! I can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard. Yet I feel a bit of confusion as well, wondering how I got old enough to laugh about lunch/snack packing? You are the voice of many, many moms and dads. Thank you!


I love this! My husband just plays dumb when I ask him to make a lunch to be taken to school. He looks blankly at me and says, “Awhahht? Hm? Oh. Hm, don’t know how?” That being said, our son just bought his first cafeteria meal today – somehow the Pizza Fridays of our youth is now Pizza Anyday for the San Francisco kids.


I am also a second year law student (evening, with a full time legal secretary job during the day) and often read your blog in class while eating cliff bars or assorted packaged rubber, pretending that it’s a tomato sandwich or something. The cats that sit next to me always drool over my shoulder. As a legal geek, this post in particular is much appreciated. Thanks for the day dreams.


I *would* be laughing, if I weren’t seething with resentment that I am the one on lunch duty ALL. THE DAMN. TIME. Add to that a supremely busy husband who has decided that he is going to MAKE all the bread in the house, and who then decides to make BAGUETTES instead of FRICKING BREAD THAT I CAN USE TO MAKE SANDWICHES, the week before a long weekend when he won’t be around to make MORE bread that CAN BE USED IN SANDWICHES, and – well, it’s a sticky situation.


“…and upon threat of further humiliation, you will also provide guidance and lunch menus to other fathers who have now been subjugated into every-other-night lunch-making.”

Kristina P-M

DYING! Too funny!

Love Hus’ line about “…do we really want to be the couple giving free lunch duty and foot massage coupons to each other?” I was almost off my chair laughing!


your husband is very sweet and funny. you, clearly, are living the good life. good for you. i love your blog!


Oh my geesh! hee hee hee! Loved everything about this and my husband will too….he’s numero uno in the lunch making department these days AND he’s a lawyer. Thanks for making me laugh tonight! I’m linking back to this on my blog soon.


Love this. I’m a lawyer and would love to get my husband to execute such an agreement, but I know he’d just shake his head in disgust and tell me to save my lawyer tactics for my clients. Oh well. I have one in 2nd grade, one in kindergarten, and one in diapers. So many peanut butter sandwiches yet in my future . . . .


I love love love that you guys were featured on the NY Times! This is one of my favorite blogs. I’m glad it’s getting recognition.


Like everybody else, my husband and I found this very clever and entertaining. I was happy to see it on the Motherlode blog as well.

“Hereunder? Who are you?” My fave!

Hong Kong Phooey

this was awesome. Never too late to go to law school…or so I’ve heard 🙂 HKphooey&Trish


I solve this problem by making the same thing for lunch every day. Sometimes I change it up and use jam instead of honey with the peanut butter.

Rebecca Grace

Oh, this is so funny! We go through the same negotiations in our house. I read the part about the other party providing “advice” with more than a twinge of recognition… Why did you give them FOUR cookies? Don’t you know they won’t eat their sandwiches if you give them four cookies? And only Lars will eat the egg salad sandwiches; Anders wants peanut butter and marmalade… Our parents had it easy, though. I got a smashed up PB&J sandwich, a bruised apple, and fifty cents for a carton of milk every day when I was a kid — and I was GRATEFUL (not!). 🙂


Very funny – especially to discover that we are not the only husband and wife who have had the bento box vs. ziploc baggies issue.

Jessica F

Soooo funny!
Taking contract law at the moment and I have to fight the urge to do this for every agreement I make.

“assignation” ha!

Victoria Granof

So who reimburses GQ magazine for the time Adam and I are spending in hysterics over this thing instead of shooting the dutch baby?
You can thank me if he serves you the Schaller & Weber mixed grill withsweet/sour sauteed red cabbage with tart apples tomorrow night.


As the sole lunch maker in the house I hate to say that just by the fact that you are engaged in this sort of back and forth with your husband is already a vast improvement over my life!
I am not a morning person so this is the single most hated chore I endure.
Pretty please(!)–write more about school lunch ideas!! I need some help and some inspiration!!


LOL this is so creative and hilarious. Love how you approach parenthood (and marriage) with a great sense of humor


Love that he is prevented from claiming “medically unable” when hung over. Hilarious.


Just read this for the first time, have been loving your blog for a while. Hilarious. Almuerzo&Snaks. Priceless…


Too funny! I thank God for the hot lunch program. It took all those stressors out of our lunch duties. But just so you know, the kids always liked my lunches better, lol.


Reading this was a great way to start my morning!
My children are all adults now and this brought back such memories. One in particular…when my youngest was in 8th grade, I started the school year off making huge X’s on the calendar. My son thought it was some kind of count down to graduation…..it was a count down to the VERY LAST LUNCH I WAS GOING TO MAKE! I thought I would feel a little melancholy about it after awhile but the truth is 8 years later, I still DON’T miss it!
Thanks for the reminder and laughs this morning!


kids lunches should be the next book! I picture spiral bound with tabs to flip through for mains, sides, desserts. The making them is a pain, but it’s coming up with new ideas that’s the worst!


Or, do as we’ve done and pass this task along to the lunch eaters themselves. Our two oldest girls (third & sixth grade) make their own lunches & it has made my mornings at least 50% better. I highly recommend this approach (especially when done the night before).


Life has crusts! Yes! I read your book and have to admit to a slight crush on Andy. Don’t worry- I’m a west-coast-Canadianhappily-married mother. Not sure why I mentioned geography before my marital status 😉