One of the more fun parts of my “job” is that I have an excuse to reach out to people I’ve been secretly stalking for decades. Take that time, for instance, when I met Susan Spungen for breakfast at a Union Square coffee shop. Spungen spearheaded the food section at Martha Stewart Living twenty years ago. We have her to thank for leading the team that put together the Hors D’oeuvres Handbook, which is not only my finger food bible, but the bible of caterers across America. When I heard she was coming out with a book on Entertaining — What’s a Hostess to Do? — I set up a date, and over poached eggs and shaved asparagus, downloaded her hard-won wisdom.
21 Rules for Entertaining
Culled from What’s a Hostess to Do, by Susan Spungen (and so many thousands more where these came from)
1. Less can be more. Focus on a few beautiful well-conceived, well-prepared dishes.
2. Unless it’s the holiday, in which case the key word is “bounty.” (See above.)
3. The language you use for your invitation should focus on who you do want at the party (“Join us for a grown-up dinner”) not who you don’t want (“No kids please.”)
4. For the kids — When in doubt: “Bambini Pasta,” i.e. noodles, spaghetti, penne, whatever you got — with butter and Parm.
5. Some handy math: On average, assume your guests will have 2 drinks per hour (10 guests x 2 drinks x 2 hours = 40 drinks). There are approximately 5 wine glasses per bottle. A 1-liter bottle of liquor contains enough for 32 mixed drinks. One liter of mixer will make 8 drinks.
6. The Paloma is The New Margarita. [OK, disclaimer: Susan didn’t exactly say that, but I did, and will continue to all year. To make: 1/2 cup grapefruit soda (such as Mexican Jarritos or Jamaican Ting), the juice of half a lime, and 2 ounces tequila. Serve over ice with lime wedge.]
7. The Manhattan is the New Manhattan.
8. Centerpieces: DO use short candles, DON’T use tall or overly fragrant flowers or plants; DO decorate with short flowers or potted plants, DON’T crowd the table.
9. Scented candles? Yes, for sure, in the bathroom. On the table? Never.
10. All will be fine if Nutella is on the menu. Nutella Dessert Sandwiches: Toast thinly sliced brioche bread, spread with Nutella and dust with powdered sugar. Serve warm.
11. Three Four-Syllable Laws of Sanity Preservation when entertaining: Make it Ahead, Cook What You Know, Think Mise en Place.
12. A multitude of sins can be easily overlooked when people are basking in a warm glow: Lighting should be soft.
13. Bathroom checklist: Close the shower curtain, empty the trash. If there is no lock, make an “occupied” sign to hang on the knob. Better yet, have the kids do it.
14. Invest in a collapsible metal coatrack and never dive through a mountain of identical black wool overcoats heaped on a bed ever again.
15. Winning Cheese and Fruit Pairs for a Starter Spread: Apples + Cheddar, Quince Paste + Manchego, Figs + Gorgonzola
16. Good salumi needs little accompaniment. But no one will object if it’s next to some good bread, olives, and crisp fennel slices.
17. To make after-party cleanup less soul-crushing, always start the evening with an empty dishwasher, dish rack, trash can, and sink.
19. Yes, you can bring wine = The answer when your friends ask What Can I Bring?
20. A good party is much more than the sum of its parts. The gathering takes on a life of its own, and it almost always works out, even when it doesn’t.
21. The no-fail menu for entertaining kids and adults: Ribs, Slaw (lose the brussels in the summer), and make-ahead Ice Cream Sandwiches.
To make: For each sandwich, place a scoop of ice cream on a chocolate chip cookie (try Tate’s brand or another thin crisp cookie). Top with another cookie and press down gently. Place on a rimmed baking sheet and set in the freezer. Wrap individually after they’ve hardened, and freeze until ready to serve.
Art & Photo credits: Evan Sung (holiday spread) Sun Young Park (cocktail tray illustration), Susan Spungen (desserts)
this looks great and makes me want to have friends over ASAP!
I love this! I recently had a dinner party disaster that involved me making something I had never made before, right before the guests arrived, and it turned out horrible. I have been thinking about the rule of making what you love and know for dinner parties ever since.
Also – was at your talk at the 92Y on Wednesday! You shared so much valuable information, and it was a real treat. Thank you!
I love having dinner parties and this list is invaluable! And now you have me craving a Paloma….
makes me want to read the book!
Love the list… need to remember the simplicity next time and that the house doesn’t need to be spotless!!
I love entertaining and this book sounds like a must have. Except I disagree with rule number one. Maybe it’s a southern thing but there should always be a bounty.
This is great! Thanks.
Yes! Thanks for a great list and for No. 6. love it.
Ready for Memorial Day!
I really want an ice cream sand which now! Great list!
Great post! I’m looking forward to reading the book….
I envision sipping a Paloma while reading Susan’s awesome new book. How cute is that cover?? Great post! Fingers crossed for a win!
Excellent tips!
Love this list!
I am so excited to make these ice cream sandwiches!
Now all I have to do is decide who to invite!
Thanks for this post–I’m hosting an event in a couple of weeks and this info has helped pull me back from the brink of crazy hostess disaster mode.
I’m pretty terrified of entertaining but we’ve vowed to start. I’m looking for all the help I can get.
I remember an old friend who’s rule was to serve easy food she would love and invite people you find interesting (and kind?). Sounds simple, non?
this post saved the day. we just moved from the city to the burbs and we’re having new neighbors over tonight! THANK YOU!!!
My life always needs more lists of how to be better in the kitchen — cannot wait to put these into practice!
I love that Nutella idea. It seems like a great way to get guests involved too. 🙂
Love these tips!
Love tip #5! I always seem to over or under buy drinks for my gatherings.
These are great tips. I’m always learning a new lesson every time we entertain so more advice is always welcome!
When I’m at someone’s else’s gathering and they DON’T have soft lighting, I find a way to help turn down the lights and light up the candles – is that bad? haha AND I always have a playlist ready in case there isn’t any music – awkward silence beware!